Cough and Turn...Exam Time!

Done! 447 grueling 3 minutes oral English conversational exams later and I’m now a free man! To be honest, I feel I’ve done quite a few tiring things in my life...sprint triathlons, hiking over the Teton Mountains, hell...even cycled from Colorado to Tennessee. But hands down giving all those exams in an 8 day period about did me in. My ears and my eyes were in constant battle...by the time I hit student 346, I rationalized I could listen better if my eyelids were closed.
Alas, some of the pain of sitting still for hours was muted by the humorous responses of a handful. Pages upon pages in my journal began to fill up. The following quotes made my 2006 teaching All-Star Team:

david: "Tell me about America?"
-student 1: "The people's skin are white and yellow."
-student 2: "I think America is a rich and beautiful city."
-student 3: "I like American boys...white skin, high nose, big eyes."
-student 4: "No...i don't like America."

david: "tell me about your family?"
-student 1: "My government won't allow me any brothers or sisters...but YOUR sister is beautiful."
-large, male, burly, manish student with a deep voice: "My mother is like me...very pretty."

david: "Do you have any questions for me?"
-student 1: "Are American beggars poorer than us Chinese?"
-the shyest and cutest student: "Can I please touch your nose?"

david: "What will you do next week?"
-student 1: "I will go home because I’m in toilet." (ie toilet = training)
-student 2: "I will study in the Shandong College of Tourism and Hospital." (ie hospital = hospitality)
-student 3: "I’m sorry! I don't like English!! Waaaaaaaaa!!!"

See? I told you I could listen with my eyelids shut.
I can now empathize (and sympathize) with all my past foreign teachers. So for Senior Warford, Sweathog, Ms Eastwood, and my dearest Uzbek Ilgiza Opa...next time i see you, I owe you a waffle. Thanks.

--D.T. Willy