English Music 101

So recently, other than battling an air pollution induced sinus infection and morning bouts of lung butter, things be dandy.
Last week I was teaching my kids about Western music and the various genres...using the ‘ol Ipod and speakers.
Monday morning was showtime. I turned the classroom lights off, had them close their eyes, and sit on their hands. I then played the most seductive, sexy, undress-me-with-your-voice, song I knew…Marvin Gaye, "Let’s get it on." The kids who understood what was happening were easy to spot…they began fidgeting with themselves.
I then threw on Dueling Banjos, with a side order of Rocky Top. I was in the middle of my knee slapping and YeeeHaaaw’n, when one child raised his hand and asked what was wrong with me. Nothing. Nothings wrong. Just a combination of happy pants and a nervous tick.
My hopes are to create the first Chinese redneck. The idea of inspiring Chinese white trash got flushed down the toilet…folks round here are lacking that extra crunchy crackerness that’s needed.
So I continued through various genres of music, playing a short clip, providing a bit of explanation, and dancing around the room according to the audio inspiration…basically like a crazed man.
Man its fun to play teacher.
I threw on some Hanson, and then had to back peddle out of it when I couldn’t fully explain what the hell “Mmmm Bop” meant. Kind of like how I can’t fully explain to you how it ended up on my Ipod in the first place. Oops.
I put on Eminem…they were bobbing their heads. I put on some Enya…they were scratching their heads.
Metallica had them grabbing their ears. Michael Jackson had them grabbing their crotches.
It was quite a week of classes.
Since the classes I’m teaching are Oral English, I decided to spend the last 40 minutes having students choose one song, listen to it, and write down the lyrics….then we all sing the song together. Fun, right? Good times, right?
F that.
When it came time to choose a song to do this with, every student in every class just happened to pick the same one…Backstreet Boys, I Want It That Way.
Oh. My. God.
Having twelve classes in four days, with 500 students just about made me lose it.
What started as a good idea ended with me (still) going to sleep and waking up everyday with that friggin song in my head. You should try it. If you don’t have the Backstreet Boys on CD, you could just pour some boiling, rancid goat’s milk into your ear for a similar effect.
It really was like some foul frat prank…on repeat.
Next week, no music. Maybe more Mad Libs like I used last week. It’s always funny to hear your students stand up and read about their “naked kittens” and “happy hemorrhoids.”
Ok. So how about this? If you were to teach a class about anything to English studying Chinese students, what would you do? Nothing to technical…some of these kids English skills are about as primitive as a dog’s daily nut licking.
Think simple. Think shiny. Then email it to me. I’ll let ya know how it goes over…or under if it tanks.

---DT Willy