31 days of May

Weak.
That about sums up my ability to keep this page running on four, six, or hell...even two cylinders. With my email back in operation I’ve been able to fire off more personal emails and neglect this cyber billboard. My bad.

So what’s new? Well at the beginning of this month I traveled to the far west of China to the most polluted city in the world...Lanzhou. Expecting pudding thick air, Willy Wonka dirt chocolate water and babies puffing on cigarettes, I was somewhat sadistically disappointed in the fact that all which was found was bluer skies, cleaner air, and smokeless infants.
Apparently it’s the winter season that gives the city the honor of being polluted city worldwide.
The government even went so far that back in the '90's in hopes of improving the air quality that they began work on banging down the surrounding mountain tops and installing giant vacuums to get clean air in. I guess reducing the amount of pollution produced wasn't a big hit with the think tank kids.
Never have I seen a culture do so much with technology, architecture, and sheer brazened balls to attempt to control mama nature. This and the Three River Gorges are two fine examples.

What else? There have been a plethora of other milestone successes in my life this month:
-Found banana bread at a local supermarket.
-Got one of my students to throw up during class.
-Stopped to witness protesting workers demanding their pay from a nearby college and quickly became the focus of this gathering when security saw me snapping photos. (Hard to blend in when you're the only white marshmallow in a box of Wheaties).
-Had my most innocent girl student look at me and declare "I want to kill you.' (real American English indeed).
-ate cow stomach, eel, and a giant insect that flew into my mouth while cycling this morning.
-changed my socks

And that about catches us up to the present.
Oh yea. And the student puking thing...that wasn't entirely my fault. I took my class hiking up a nearby mountain to learn some hippie English vocab on a hot day this week and this poor girl had eaten some bad meat for breakfast. It was the saddest thing to see this nice girl bend over and whimper "I'm sorry teacher...yaaaak...I’m sorry teacher...yaaaak." You just got yourself an 'A' kid.

So drop me line at my email account if you'd like some personal letter love. More to come...

D.T Willy

Dust Off That Tricycle

This is your official heads up! Your invitation! For what?
Just a minor journey. A small tour of sorts. A time to stop, smell the roses and, oh say...bicycle over the Himalayas?
Great. See you soon!
So this is the latest brainchild/fart brewing so indulge me in my explanation:
3-4 weeks spent pedaling from Tibet to Nepal traversing a handful of 14,500 ft mountain passes, ancient monasteries, and random goat filled villages to keep one toasty during those cold, lonely evenings.
We even get to stop at the pit stop of all pit stops--Mt Everest (think base camp, not summit). We will roll into Kathmandu via what is known as the Worlds longest downhill ride. I do believe the log flume at Dollywood is a close second.
Starting time is mid July of this Chinese year of the dog.
Minor problem...at this point I’m lacking a bicycle due to last month’s stickyfinger cycle theft. No matter, for I am in the process of contacting various local Chinese cycling companies to see if they have it in their marketing budget to sponsor a whitey in tighties.
At this point I’m flying solo but would enjoy someone to yammer to when oxygen levels are low and hallucinations are high. Sooooooo, who’s comin with me!?!
No need to beat the door down right off the bat and drop your acceptance letter into my mailbox...feel free to feel out the situation. Google it. Think about. I bet you'd even get a decent Christmas card out of it.
I will try and send out an email to everyone about this as sometimes I feel my blogging babble is read by a limited number of (yet hyper-educated) cronies, family, and hobbits. Ummmm, that email will go out as soon as the Chinese Internet playground bully releases his death grip on my hotmail account...I haven't been able to access it for quite a few days now. Thanks O'doyal.
Anyways, ingest the invite and book your plane tickets. Oh yea...training would be a good idea.
Toodles,

--DT Willy

Even Commies Have Mommies

Happy mothers day to all you mudders, grand-mudders, step-mudders, and any utter mudders out there!!!
In case you were wondering, yes they celebrate Mothers Day here in China. Are you kidding me? The chinese wouldnt dare miss out on celebrating the day that marks when women universally go through the most painful expierence of their estrogenic lives....Laaaay Buuuur.
Ouch. Sorry ma. But look on the bright side, at least Im not a hippopotumus. Now that would've hurt.
You know, its an interesting thought as to how the animal kingdom celebrates mothers day. For example:
- most baby Black Widow's are probably pissed off at mom for eating dad.
- salmon are swimming around looking for their real mom...why did she abandon us?
- cats and dogs are burning effiges of Bob Barker in alleyways across the country.

Guess mothers day isnt a big hit on the Animal Planet. Oh well. Anyways, thanks for pushing through mom...literally.

--DT Willy