Week 1

After a butt-numbing 11 hour flight from Cali to Beijing, I've arrived in the land of the little people. Quickly I realized I should have been studying more than the 2 hours of Chinese I put in before departing the US.
"Hello.
My name is David.
Please don't say anything else to me because I don't understand and me confused."

Arriving on Friday evening, by Saturday night I found myself in the one and only night club where the foreigners hangout at. Auzzies, Brits, Cameroonians and a few other crackers like myself was what made the buffet of people a funny mix. It looked a bit like a plate of turkey, donuts, wheat thins, and nutella. I quickly observed that there is something about traveling that inspires people to smoke...everyone. Oh how i love the scent of cigs. Hot indeed.

had a banquet with all the other foreign teachers the night after arriving. We have 2 japanese teachers, 1 english teacher from cameroon, 1 english teacher from china, and me. Me being the only one from a native English country. Showcase the whitey indeed. We ate all the finest dishes-- squid, frog eggs, and mutton. All while trying not to drop my chopsticks in the College President's lap who is sitting right next to me. I did good though...only hit him twice.

Anyways, Ive met some good people that I hope to kill time with in the following months in between teaching. Which leds me to my first week of engligh classes.
I must admit I'm a bit stunned by the questions I recieved from my students.
Can I buy your shoes?
Why are your teeth white? (brush your teeth snaggletooth)
Why is your nose so big? (little did i realize)
Do you have a girlfiend? (no)
Do you have a boyfriend? (no and you don't be sending me to jail)
Will you sing us a song? (ever heard of hanson?)

Guess the dog and pony show has begun. Classes are about 50 kids big so Im able to really give genuine 1 on 1 time with each one. We covered introductions, our hobbies, and even threw in your favorite and mine, an ice breaker called the human knot. Learned that the kids love games. Also learned that the kids love to cheat. Punks. Your government is watching you for a reason.
So once my first class is over I stand at the door waiting to say goodbye to them all when they walk out the door. Well, that would work if they changed classrooms...but they don't. Hence I stood there for a god bit after I dismissed them looking like a Grade A genius waiting for them to go NOWHERE. I'm sure I'm gaining oodles of respect for that move.
Moved into my new apartment last night. 2 bedrooms, a quaint living room, a dirty kitchen/closet and a room that smells like poo in which Im supposed to shower and find toilet time. So I now have my first Martha Stewart Project in China...rid the stank and clean of my new flat. My eyes are watering just thinking about it.

---T. Willy